The RN: The First Date

*** Spoiler alert: this post contains details about the end of Avengers: Infinity War. ***

Okay, now, we've established I have a boyfriend (RNBF). So, how did we go from volunteering together to being together? Over chat, of course, because #nerds. We were talking about Infinity War, because, of course we were:

RNBF: Infinity War? 😀
The RN: Yep, I have to believe there is some kind of rewind coming.
RNBF: I mean
Time stone
The RN: Right? Exactly.
RNBF: Who knows how to use it except Dr Strange and Thanos?
The RN: Maybe Captain Marvel?
Plus Dr Strange said there was only one way it worked out. I’m assuming he would follow the path to that way.
RNBF: I had gotten the idea that he was able to pick the right combination of people to survive
I'm not exactly sure how the time stone works 😢
The RN: I was thinking about when he said, “it’s the only way”
Like Thanos has to win in order to lose ... I don’t know comic book logic.
RNBF: Dramatic logic 😀
Maybe Star Lord and Thor needing to gloat was unavoidable?
The RN: Maybe, but didn’t Star Lord go poof?
RNBF: I mean when he ruined everything by punching Thanos and breaking Mantis's concentration
The RN: Yes, well, he did kill Gamora
RNBF: He could have waited a couple minutes, though
The RN: Yeah, but hothead.
RNBF: Unavoidable
Since Dr Strange sees all futures or at least 14 million of them... I wonder how many times Star Lord did that?
The RN: Probably like all times.
RNBF: Because hothead
The RN: Although, I did realize I somehow missed seeing the Dr Strange movie.
RNBF: I saw it but I didn't find it all that engaging
Did you feel like you missed anything in Infinity War?
The RN: Not really, but still if I find on Netflix will probably watch it.
RNBF: We could watch it together! 😃
The RN: That we could.

Oh, you were expecting something short and straight forward? Clearly you don't know enough #nerds. What you may not realize was this was the first time in almost two years I had accepted a date. Even after I cut off CT (You remember him, right? Oops, I think I just gave away who sent the texts I posted ...) in 2013, I still went out here and there. I guess not on any, like, "real" dates, but I still managed to hook up a few times in 2014. Even though RNBF and I had been flirting for a while, I was more in the "I want to be ready" phase than in the "I am ready" phase.

It's possible (probable?) he was also not in the correct head space to start a long-term, serious relationship when we first started talking about volunteer stuff and getting all flirty. I mean neither of us is twenty anymore, we both have a past. All the same, I'm glad our timing worked out well enough so neither of us had too much baggage to keep us from getting into a relationship.

When you get to be my age, everyone has baggage.

It took a little bit of time to work out the details and actually go on our date. Does it still count as "going" on a date if it happened in your living room? Yep, you read that right. I let him come over to my place, despite having implemented a "no dates allowed" house rule. Two important things were different this time: 1) I had actually invited a couple of new friends over, so I had already started allowing some people into my space. (Spoiler, these newer friends are better about respecting me and my space.) And, 2) I actually knew him well enough to offer it as an option. Nope, I didn't straight out invite him over, but I put it out there as an option. Besides if we were going to Netflix and Chill™, er, watch Dr. Strange on Netflix we were either going to end up at his place or mine.

Not all of our clothes stayed on ...
Photo Credit

Long story short: we discovered we're ... very compatible with each other. Whoa, get your mind out of the gutter ... or don't ... but we didn't "go all the way" on our first date. I'm not sure we would've gotten there either way, but I slowed it down. Yep, you read that right I slowed us down. You see the thing is, and you won't hear me say this often, I wanted to make an emotional decision. Usually, I'm all for making a logical decision instead of an emotional one, but that wasn't what I was choosing here. This time I wanted to make an emotional decision, not a hormonal one.

It's all fine and good to jump right in, let your hormones take over, and get to the good stuff, but I wasn't looking for a one-night-stand and I'm pretty sure he wasn't either (hi, honey...💜); otherwise, we wouldn't still be together. Since it had been a while, I wanted to ... not jump right in and and let my hormones take over. Although, the stuff was really good, I think it was the right choice for us to slow down at the time. A couple of days later I was running (okay, I'm usually running) and thinking about everything when I realized, a bit to my own shock, I was completely comfortable with how every was proceeding. For the first time in a very long time, I was happy. Not just content, but truly happy.

A few weeks later we were talking about a class RNBF had attended which he wished had been more technical and less participatory, because #nerds.

RNBF: I was thinking afterwards that the class I wanted wouldn't have been as interesting to other people 😛
The RN: Probably not; I would have been interested though.
RNBF: I'm glad I went
The RN: That’s good.
Sometimes trying new things isn’t bad. Like watching Dr Strange 😜
RNBF: I don't know what you're talking about, I'd seen Dr Strange several times 😛
The RN: I was trying something new.
RNBF: Oh! You mean that part!
That was new and exciting
And rewarding!
The RN: Yes, it was a great choice.
So was the neck massage. Both new/different choices than I had been making. Both were the right call.

And that is how our relationship started. We've had a few bumps and bruises, but we're approaching 4 months together. We couldn't be happier.